


I have to know

by moonlight_roses



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Insecurity, M/M, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-16 06:56:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21503731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlight_roses/pseuds/moonlight_roses
Summary: One day Tony finally makes a move on Stephen, because he just has to know.He has to know.
Relationships: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Comments: 6
Kudos: 168





	I have to know

„Tony“, Pepper said gently, fully intending to drive her point home. “Do me a favor. Imagine you don’t do something now, imagine he finds someone else. Imagine how you’d feel if the person you love most ever marries someone else. That would be something you’d have to live with for the rest of your life, Tony.”

He stared at her retreating back, knowing full well that his eyes were wide and moist with tears.

Pepper was right.

He was very much aware that he’d started falling for Doctor Stephen Strange the moment he had stepped out of that portal in Central Park and he was still falling for him that very day. Everything about that man was so damn fascinating, especially his smart mouth and annoying wit.

The genius had admitted that he wanted Stephen months ago, but he had resolved to never acting on it, never telling the other how he felt. They were friends and he valued that. It was more important than starting something he knew he would destroy in the end anyway.

Stephen had become his rock, the one person he turned to almost as much as he turned to Rhodey and Pepper. They shared so much similar background and somehow that made them understand each other.

And God, Tony shivered slightly at the thought of Stephen’s physical appearance, his impeccable hair with that one unruly strand, ocean blue-grey eyes and strong, lean body, not to mention these cheekbones… No matter the fact that the man’s defense mechanisms were almost worse than his own, he was simply perfect.

Tony turned around to stare out the window, Pepper’s words having struck a chord with him. There was little he could say against her point, knowing full well that she was right.

It wasn’t so much that he didn’t think Stephen felt something for him as well. There had been so many looks, so many moments between them that Tony simply knew meant what he hoped they meant.

And yet he feared Stephen didn’t want him, not for himself at least. Maybe he wanted to get laid and was okay with Tony doing it, or he wanted some sort of friends with benefits thing.

Back in the day he might have been okay with any of that, but not anymore. Tony wasn’t who he used to be, the idea of just fucking around with Stephen disgusting him more than ever. He’d been faithful to Pepper no matter what, and what he’d felt for her paled in comparison to what a soft smile of Stephen’s was doing to him these days.

He felt something shift inside him at that realization, a resolve tightening the muscles in his shoulders in a subtle but noticeable way.

“Ah, you’re still here.” That familiar baritone voice made him straighten up where he was standing at the window and Tony turned, not even hesitating to walk towards Stephen. He had no idea where he’d come from and he was too busy shutting down his mind to care. “Where’s Pepper? I thought we were supposed to…”

Tony walked right into his personal space, not hesitating at all. He lifted his arms to wrap around Stephen’s neck and he stretched up slightly, only to brush their lips together a moment later.

The man was frozen and that was fine, Tony was even glad about it because it gave him the time to do this exactly the way he wanted. The soft touch of their noses had been very deliberate and he’d let his eyes slip close before the actual contact of their lips. He was very gentle about it, a barely there press of his lips against Stephen’s.

It wasn’t a kiss anyone would expect from Tony Stark, he knew. There was no strength to it, no further promise. Just a touch of skin on skin that he dearly hoped told Stephen exactly what he wanted to tell him with it.

He hoped it said _I love you_ , even if he didn’t say it out loud.

Tony pulled back after a moment, eyes still closed as he slowly pulled his arms back. His hand stroked over the back of Stephen’s head, feeling the soft hair there before wandering further down. His fingertips brushed his neck and he settled his hands carefully on his shoulders.

“I’m sorry”, he whispered barely loud enough to be heard and opened his eyes to look up, staring right into Stephen’s absolutely lost gaze. Tony didn’t smile, didn’t do anything to take back what he’d just done, making it damn clear that he was sorry about the timing and nothing else.

It seemed to be that fact that surprised the other man the most, his eyes widening as Tony let his hands wander to his upper arms, his touch barely there anymore.

“I have to know.”

With a last glance into Stephen’s eyes Tony pulled back altogether and slowly walked past him. His heart was beating too fast in his chest, but he soldiered on. Whatever happened from then on, he knew exactly what he’d just done. He had destroyed a very good friendship simply because he couldn’t control his emotions anymore and Tony hated not knowing where they’d be going from there.

He didn’t regret it, though.

Tony simply had to finally know.

\-------------

That very same night, when Tony was lounging on his couch with a StarkPad in his lap and a blanket drawn over his shoulders, he was stunned when he felt the presence he’d never been able to miss. He turned his head and stared at Stephen, watching as he slowly walked closer to him from where he’d portaled over.

He suppressed his wince at realizing how he looked, old worn Disturbed shirt and even older black sweatpants, feet bare and hair unruly after a quick shower.

Stephen didn’t even bother apologizing for intruding the way he usually did, with a lopsided grin that made Tony roll his eyes as he always doubted his sincerity. There was a tension in him that Tony hadn’t seen before and it was hard to know that _he_ had made him feel so uncomfortable. It was almost enough to make him take it all back, but he knew it’d be senseless.

Tony placed his Pad on the table and barely resisted the urge to pull his knees to his chest, feeling very self-aware all of a sudden. It didn’t help that Stephen was just staring at him, somehow making it seem like he thought Tony was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen in his life.

This was getting ridiculous.

He was just about to take a breath and say so when the sorcerer finally spoke.

“I’ve never been with a man.” It wasn’t much of a surprise, Tony had figured as much from the few details Stephen had shared with him about his past. He actually doubted the man had had any lovers at all aside from Christine. Fleeting acquaintances and maybe a few affairs, but nothing more. “I’ve never so much as thought about it. I definitely never wanted it.”

Okay, so that hurt. If anything he’d have thought the physical attraction was there, but he understood where Stephen was coming from. His heart sank anyway and he wanted to put a stop to all of this right then.

Stephen went on.

“That was until I met you. Now I can’t handle that it’s all I think about, that you’re all I think about. I can’t handle how much I want you.”

There was a dark tone to his voice that Tony had never heard from Stephen before and it made his body tingle. It still hurt, but less so than before. Okay, so Stephen wanted him, which was at least what he’d hoped for and it did feel good to hear him say it.

Still, it wasn’t enough and for the first time in his life he wasn’t sure what to say. Maybe it’d be worth it to do this for Stephen, to give him what he wanted before Tony would be pushed away again. Maybe one night would be worth the breaking of his heart, like Tony had had done to him so many times before.

“I’m also afraid.”

Tony glanced back up then, not at all missing how Stephen had pressed these words out, how hard it was for him to admit that. It made him cringe to see the man standing there like this. God, he knew he’d never wanted anyone as bad as him, had never needed anyone like this.

_If only I wasn’t this gigantic fuck-up of a human being._

“I’m afraid that’s all you want from me. I’m afraid to have you, only to watch you leave in the middle of the night. I’m afraid to get close to you and find out that all you want from me is one night, if at all.”

Tony wasn’t sure what his facial expression was doing anymore and he didn’t care. He just stared at Stephen, knowing he must have heard him wrong and yet seeing it all on his face, in his eyes, in his body language.

Stephen’s eyes were open and expressive like they hadn’t been before, even if it was plain to see how hard it was for him to hold his gaze. God, he knew how proud that man was, knew how deep his protective layer of arrogance and sarcasm went.

It was humbling to see him so honest with Tony, painful even. He would never, could never, be what that amazing man needed, could never love him the way he deserved. The thought killed him, it really did, but it would be better to end this now before he could hurt Stephen.

“You said you have to know. Alright. I’ll tell you, if you promise you’ll tell me as well.”

He didn’t know what to say. Seeing Stephen like this made his chest hurt from the impossible swell of love and affection, but his mind…

  
God, his mind. There were so many fucking reasons he should let this go, why he should just send Stephen away. Pepper had been wrong. Knowing that his feelings were somewhat reciprocated didn’t make this any easier, it just made him hurt more.

It wasn’t like they could ever have a chance. Even if, for some inexplicable reason, Stephen really felt something for him beyond friendship, Tony would ruin it. Just like he always had.

“Tony.” The whisper of his name sent a shiver down his spine and Tony felt his hand jerk before he moved it to hold onto the blanket still drawn over his back, pulling it tighter around himself.

It didn’t help making him feel safe at all.

“Fine”, he replied, his voice only a whisper as well. He knew he’d started this, knew he’d prompted Stephen to come to him that night by kissing him. The least he could do was to own up to it.

“I’m in love with you.”

Everything came to a grinding halt.

His heart… God, he didn’t know what his heart was doing in his chest. Tony’s lips parted, but he couldn’t get air into his lungs. Stephen couldn’t… He just, he simply couldn’t…

“Breathe, Tony.” He barely felt the dip on the couch beside him, but the slightly cold and trembling hand cupping his cheek anchored him like a punch to his gut.

His eyes flew open and he stared at Stephen, taking in the unreadable small smile playing on his lips and the look in his eyes.

  
God, these eyes…

“Take that back”, he mumbled and looked away, wanting nothing more than to not have heard that. It couldn’t be true, it simply _wasn’t_ true. There was no one left who loved him, not Pepper, not Rhodey, not after everything he’d done.

They cared about him, deeply, but he’d lost his chances. Tony had made his peace with all of this long ago, knowing he’d remain lonely for the rest of his life, if only for the sake of others.

“I’m not taking that back, Tony.” Stephen didn’t force him to look back at him, didn’t do anything but keep his hand against his skin.

His hand.

Tony’s heart stumbled in his chest when he remembered what that meant, how Stephen had always hidden his scars from everyone, had never dared to reach out like this. Tony understood him all too well and to have Stephen touch him in that moment, to know that he trusted him like this…

He wanted to get off the couch and get the fuck away from Stephen, but he bit down on that impulse. God, he wasn’t fucking fleeing like a scared little child, he could do this. It wasn’t true anyway, it didn’t even mean anything.

“You promised, Tony.”

The reminder made him flinch and he knew Stephen had noticed. Tony’s gaze flickered over to him, taking in the man’s neutral expression before looking back at the ground.

He should just lie, he knew he should. It wasn’t that he thought Stephen was lying to him and maybe he even felt something for him. Still, Tony didn’t want to go down this road, he realized. Pepper had been fucking wrong, he couldn’t do this.

Just the thought of letting Stephen close, only to lose him again…

“Anthony.”

Tony froze, not just his body, but especially his mind. He turned to stare at Stephen, this time seeing it all in his eyes how scared the other was, how much he feared Tony’s rejection.

The decision slipped through his fingers and then he leaned forward, slow enough to give Stephen the chance to back away. When he didn’t, Tony brushed their lips together again, exactly like he’d done that afternoon and it was so fucking perfect.

He felt the hesitation in Stephen, though, and without thinking about it Tony reached up to gently grasp the back of his head. For some undefinable reason he was so filled with the frightening idea that the sorcerer would pull away, that he’d put an end to this.

And even if he knew that _he_ should be the one to end this, he couldn’t. It might destroy him later, it might finally break him for real, but Tony couldn’t bear the thought of not giving this man everything he wanted.

If that was him, at least for this night, then Tony was fine with that.

He’d survive.

He always did.

More or less.

It was Stephen who took that last step, Stephen who pressed their lips together in a searing kiss. Tony was stunned for a moment, not quite able to remember when he’d last been kissed like this, if ever.

He couldn’t hold back after that.

Everything melted away, leaving nothing but the man in his arms. Tony felt like he was caught up in the middle of a swelling storm, taking control of him with an ease that was just so typical for Stephen.

The other man had always been able to distract him, from his work, from his own mind, from the darkness that sometimes became too much. It was just logical that he would be able to take over his very being like this as well.

He was painfully aware of what Stephen had told him earlier and Tony most definitely didn’t agree when the other tried to push him back onto the couch. Instead he stood up and pulled Stephen with him, once again winding his arms around his neck to lean up and kiss him.

Only this time it was different, the heat between them almost unbearable. Tony didn’t miss the pants, the quiet moans, the desperate shudders that Stephen couldn’t hide, despite that usually impeccable self-control of his.

“Do you even understand how much I want you?” Stephen breathed into his mouth and it was all back, the knowledge that this was just about sex, the hurt he felt, the fear. Tony pushed it away, though. Give Stephen everything now, break down later.

He could do that.

“Show me.”

He expected the other to kiss him again, to make his demands and he knew he’d give him anything he wanted, but Stephen didn’t do that. Instead the taller man surprised him by stepping closer as he kissed Tony with incredible softness and then he felt him more than ever before.

Stephen was rock hard. There was no denying the pulsing erection against his hips, the heat of it discernable even through their layers of clothing.

They kissed again, deeper and with a longing that made Tony’s head swim. If it were any other situation he’d push Stephen onto the couch and ravage him there, give him exactly what he wanted and so much more.

But the man hadn’t done this before and Tony wanted to be considerate for him. It had to be good, because he’d only get to do this once. This was all he’d ever have, all he’d take from Stephen, because if there was no future for them, Tony didn’t want to pretend they had one at all.

And so he took his time, his sweet damn time. Finding their way to Tony’s bedroom already took them impossibly long, pushing each other against the walls with both eagerness and incredible softness. He’d never wanted someone as fast as possible and unbearably slow at the same time.

Stephen was magnificent in his arms, all gentle strength, drawn-out touches and loving gestures. He could almost pretend it meant what he so longed for, that he really wanted Tony for who he was, not just for how he was in bed.

It was absurd, if anyone knew how fucked up he truly was it had to be Stephen. There was no way he would ever…

Tony felt himself start to break when Stephen brought his hands up to frame his face and just stare at him for a moment. His gaze was so intense, almost begging Tony to let him see that part of himself that he was desperately trying to protect.

The kiss that followed made his knees weak and he moaned, for the first time letting his own desire show like that, but how could he not? Stephen’s hands were in his hair, his glorious gorgeous body pressed against his own…

Tony’s heart was beating frantically in his chest, much faster than he thought was healthy as he slowly stretched Stephen out on his bed. There was no way he could have missed the moment the other lost his last shred of control, it made Tony feel alive in a way he hadn’t in too long.

Loving this man… God, he’d lived through so much and only with these pale ocean blue eyes underneath him did he finally feel alive. There was none of the guilt that had always plagued him with Pepper, none of the boredom he’d felt with his other bed partners.

Stephen was his equal in every way that mattered, the one person he truly wanted and could never have again. It was awful to know that, but it just made Tony love him more intensely, giving him everything he deserved.

When they were done it hurt to know that he’d have to leave, to roll off Stephen, but when he tried to the other didn’t let him go, not even when Tony’s cock had slipped out of him. And Tony, feeling dazed and weak from his incredible orgasm, allowed himself that small moment as he lay sprawled over Stephen’s chest, head tucked safely underneath his chin. His face was buried against the skin of his neck, one arm thrown to the side, the other buried beneath the pillows above them.

He just breathed him in for a while, tea and books and wood. Stephen was softly stroking over the expanses of his back, the other grasping the nape of his neck. Words failed Tony then, the desperation of knowing he’d have to get up soon almost too much to handle. It was better this way, though. It was better to go now than to wait for Stephen to see him for what he really was.

Never had he felt so happy and crushed at the same time.

“I was so afraid of this moment”, Stephen whispered into his hair and Tony flinched, but even as he tried to back away, the other’s arms were unrelenting. “Tony, please. I don’t want you to go. I don’t want you to pull away, to leave me here. Stay with me, please.”

He couldn’t recall anything that had been harder for him in his entire life, but he knew that he couldn’t stay. This was already breaking him, killing him. If he stayed much longer, letting Stephen’s warmth seep into his heart and soul…

“You can’t want me”, Tony finally spoke, his breath grazing Stephen’s neck. “I’m glad you enjoyed this, but it’s all I’m good for. You don’t deserve that.”

“My God, Anthony.” Stephen’s arm around him tightened almost painfully while his other hand reached up to hold his head against warm skin. “If I’d known you thought that I’d never… By the Gods, I didn’t sleep with you for the sex. I’m not here because of that, or because of anything other than you. Only you, Tony. I’m in love with _you_.”

Tony didn’t react. No matter how beautiful it sounded, he knew better. He just knew.

“Do you want me to go, or do you…?”

“No!”

He was on his back suddenly and Tony couldn’t help it, he simply had to look up at Stephen, had to notice the despair in his features, the tears in his eyes. Maybe he shouldn’t have looked after all.

“No”, the man repeated, voice hoarse as his hand cupped Tony’s cheek. “I don’t want you to go at all. Never again. I need you to stay with me, Tony.”

It’d be so easy to believe him, but he couldn’t. This might just be the time he wouldn’t survive the breaking of his heart.

“You know what I am.” He said it neutrally, glad when it made Stephen flinch above him. Good, he remembered. “You’ll grow tired of me, like everyone did. I just don’t want to be along for that ride.”

“You said you had to know, remember?” Stephen stared down at him, his eyes hard and unrelenting. “I’m so deeply in love with you, Tony Stark. I tried to tell myself that I was just in it for your looks, for your reputation, because you’re right, that’d be easier. I tried to tell myself what you’re telling yourself now.

“But, Tony, I was so scared of sleeping with a man, I was afraid to even think about it. And yet it was all I did, because I want you so much. I trust you, despite my fears. I wanted you to be my first, not because I’d heard you’re good in bed, but because it’s you. You’re amazing, Tony, so incredibly amazing. I’ve been in love with you for nearly a year now. How can you even think that I’d ever grow tired of you?”

“Everyone does.” Tony blinked, hating how tight his throat was and how he was still in bed with Stephen. God, he should really just get going.

“Then everyone is stupid”, Stephen whispered and kissed the corner of his lips with so much gentility it nearly wrenched a sob from Tony’s throat. “I never thought I’d ever meet someone who could match me step for step, and here you are, so much smarter and more obnoxious than anyone I’ve ever met. You’re a true hero and I mean that, do you hear me? I know you have your regrets, but you’ve made your amends for them a million times over. There’s nothing about you that I don’t love, Anthony.”

“I’m a mess, Stephen. Nothing about my life is normal, nothing about me is… is even remotely good. Just let me go.” Stephen looked down at him, his beautiful eyes filled with so many emotions Tony couldn’t bear it any longer. “Just let me go.”

“Would you marry me?”

Disbelief so raw like he’d never felt before flooded him and Tony totally forgot what breathing was. “ _What_?”

“Tony, I don’t… I can’t let you go, not only because I know you’re hurting and you’re just trying to do the right thing. I can’t let you go because just the thought of not having you with me in the morning is killing me. I can’t let you go because I’m selfish, because I want you, not just your body, but you. I want it all, your time, your heart, your love. _I just can’t let you go_.

“It took me too long to realize, but when you kissed me today I finally understood that I don’t want to live without you anymore. You think I’m going to grow sick of you, but in reality your actions today made me realize that I’m already lost in you, that I can’t imagine my life without you anymore. It made me realize that I want it all with you, until forever runs out. You had to know, and you have to know that I’m serious about this, about you. So, I’m asking again, Tony. Would you, whenever we’re ready for it, do me the honor of marrying me?”

The roughness of his voice, the raw honesty in his words were too much, too intense for Tony to comprehend. He wanted to flee, wanted to hold onto his resolve.

But Stephen was making it so damn hard, not only with his words, but with his damn eyes too. They were fixed on his, making it impossible to look away from and Tony knew he was losing this.

God, why was he this weak…

Why.

“And then?” he whispered, feeling his walls crumble and knew he couldn’t do a damn thing about it. “What are you going to do with what you want, Stephen, with my time, my heart, my love? I’m broken, Stephen. There’s not enough left of me to give to you.”

“You’re so afraid that I’m going to leave you.” Stephen scooted up a bit, just enough to let their noses brush before kissing him almost exactly like Tony had kissed him earlier. “I’m so afraid of losing you myself, Tony. Losing you now, seeing you leave… It would _break_ me, Tony, more than you can imagine. Have you ever thought that, for all our fears, we might just be what we need to heal?”

“I have”, he muttered before he could stop himself, cringing a bit at the admission. Tony stared at the ceiling for a moment, trying to sort out his thoughts. In the end he just sighed, painfully aware that he still had a promise to uphold. “Everyone is always so ready to believe everything I’m said to be, so much so that even I barely remember myself most days. What I do remember is the fact that I’ve never loved someone quite like I love you.” He heard Stephen’s sharp intake of breath and it made him smile slightly. “I just know that I’m going to fuck this up, Stephen. So why…?”

“Don’t you dare ask why bother, Stark”, Stephen nearly growled. “You think I won’t fuck up? Of course I will. So will you. And yet I want to be with you, because I can’t stand the thought of not having you in my life. For everything you hate about yourself, there are at least two reasons I love you. Please, Tony. Stay with me. Give us a chance.”

Stephen breathed deeply above him, only to swallow thickly a moment later. And then Tony felt him shift and he lay down beside him until only his hand remained over the scars where the arc reactor had once been embedded in his chest.

The meaning was clear. For the first time since coming down from the high of being with Stephen for the first time, Tony had the freedom to move, to get out of bed. Ocean blue eyes kept staring at him, filled with both certainty and worry, but Tony got it anyway.

He still knew he should leave, and yet…

The idea that maybe, just maybe, they might be what the other needed to heal, was something Tony couldn’t let go. He’d meant what he had said, his feelings for Stephen were different from anything he’d felt for someone before and that included Pepper.

It was hard to describe, but he understood Stephen on a level that felt intimate and easy. They had so much in common and yet Tony was never bored, always kept on edge when the other man was around.

And fuck, he reveled in that. Stephen was… he was everything Tony had ever wanted, an equal with the same sarcastic humor as him. He lived for that laugh of his, loving nothing more than to manage to out-sass him and rubbing it under his nose.

Tony knew he was comfortable with that man, knew that for the first time in his life the sexual attraction was only secondary.

“Do you know how hard it was for me to swallow my pride and come to you tonight?” Stephen whispered into the space between them.

Tony only smiled softly at that. “Do you know how hard it is for me to try and say no to you?”

“Tony, I don’t want to change you. I don’t want you to change yourself. I just want to be with you. Just like this.”

_And I believe you._

The thought made him suck in a breath and Tony turned his head away to stare back at the ceiling. He knew what he was about to do, knew that he was opening a door that could just as well become his final downfall. Ever since his parents had died he had been through so much, had lost so much and it had always left him a little more broken, a little lonelier than before.

Stephen was the first to have stood beside him unconditionally, always there when he needed him, always on his side. Tony knew exactly that one of the biggest reasons he had fallen for him was Stephen’s honesty with him.

It was that honesty that made him believe his words now.

With a final sigh he turned and scooted closer to Stephen, nudging him a bit until he rolled onto his back. Tony cuddled against his side, head on his shoulder and tried to ignore the swell of love in his chest when strong arms tightly wound around him.

They were silent, but he didn’t miss the shuddery breaths Stephen drew or the way he was pressing his face into his hair. Tony just held onto him and, even more importantly, let him hold onto him.

He wouldn’t leave.

Never, unless Stephen asked him to.

\-------------

Tony Stark didn’t sleep in. He barely slept enough as it was, so to surface slowly from a deep, dreamless state of unconsciousness was something he barely remembered enjoying in the last ten years or so. The warmth of the blankets over his back was the first thing he noticed, making him want desperately to go back to sleep.

He couldn’t remember wanting that in too long either.

The thousand thread count sheets were his, he was very sure of that. Being in his own room also explained why his nose was tickling slightly, the rays of the sun annoying him as usual. He scrunched up his nose and groaned, only to cover his eyes with his forearm.

A soft chuckle from right beside him made him shudder very intensely, the sound of it so intimate, so beautiful that his mind immediately snapped into overdrive. It took him barely a second to notice everything else, the smell of sex and Stephen, the legs tangled with his own, the fingers buried in his hair, the dip of the mattress beside him.

Oh God.

The events of the night before crashed down on him, his memory of their first time doing nothing to ease his morning erection pressed between his stomach and the mattress. Not at all.

Nervousness fluttered in his stomach, a foreign feeling he barely recognized anymore. What if Stephen regretted this already? What if…

“You’re so beautiful, Tony.” Soft lips kissed his shoulder, only to glide along his skin until Stephen could mouth at his neck. “So wonderfully amazing.”

The flutter in his stomach intensified, though for a whole different reason this time. He slowly moved his forearm off his head and blinked his eyes open, barely able to focus on the face in front of him.

Stephen was smiling so fucking beautifully at him, his eyes so full of warmth and raw, unconditional love that Tony couldn’t breathe with how tight his throat was.

The man looked amazing, hair completely unruly and a faint indentation of the lines of the sheets on his cheek. It was the look in his eyes that got to Tony, though. There was so much admiration there, so much desire and joy and contentment he couldn’t believe was because of him.

Not because of Tony Stark.

And yet that look alone made him feel good about his decision to stay, not able to stand the thought that he otherwise never would have seen Stephen like this. So glorious. So handsome. So perfect.

They just stared at each other for a while, until Stephen seemed to have enough of the building anticipation. He leaned over for a kiss, but Tony hummed in refusal when he wanted to deepen it.

“Just let me…”, he started to offer to go and brush his teeth, but couldn’t go on when Stephen kissed him again.

When he still refused to let him deepen it, the man mumbled against his lips: “I don’t care, Tony. Just let me kiss you.”

It was impossible to resist him a third time, Tony had to learn. Though, from the way Stephen moaned into his mouth it didn’t seem to be all that bad and he lost all inhibition to kiss him back with fervor.

Without really thinking about it he turned first onto his side and then his back, moving further only when he felt Stephen follow him. He had no desire to let go of him, hand buried in salt and pepper hair to keep their mouths locked.

A moan escaped his throat when he felt their erections gliding together, a little stunned to feel that Stephen was just as hard as he was. Tony barely contained his whimper when the other started kissing down to his jaw and then his neck, missing the taste of him already.

He turned his head anyway, offering Stephen more of his skin and his body trembled from the way the other took advantage of it, the way he devoured him. It was so liberating to feel him like this above Tony, so much more in tune with what they were doing than the night before.

Stephen had been overwhelmed, he understood that, but this morning he was so different, making Tony feel his desire for him in a way that took his breath away. When the sorcerer started moving down his body Tony shuddered all over, a soft moan leaving his lips at the realization of Stephen’s intentions.

A part of him wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to do it, but one glance down into fiery blue eyes told him that Stephen truly wanted this. Tony had to look away to not come right then.

“So gorgeous”, Stephen mumbled against his stomach, his hot breath sending goose-bumps all over Tony’s body. “I’ll never be able to make you understand how much I desire you.”

His tongue swiped over the tip of his cock then and Tony groaned deep within his chest. He heard the answering moan Stephen gave, though he wasn’t sure if it was because of the taste or his reaction and he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Tell me to stop in time, Tony”, Stephen then mumbled before licking his tip again. “I want you to come in my ass, not my mouth. Not this time, anyway.”

_Holy…_

Tony’s upper body arched up when Stephen slid his mouth down on him as far as he could go and it was enough to make him keen. Technically he knew that the other man hadn’t done this before, but fuck was it good, so good.

There was no deep-throating, no especially wicked moves of tongues and lips and teeth, but Tony could definitely appreciate the effort and God, the sounds Stephen was making, the sight of him…

It turned out to be embarrassingly early that he had to push at Stephen’s shoulder, pretty much unable to talk and wasn’t that something. The infamous Tony Stark, too turned on from a first-time blowjob to articulate himself.

Stephen’s smug smile as he wiped spit from the corner of his mouth said it all. Tony rolled his eyes as he pulled him up to kiss him, carefully turning them around until he was on top. It was a rather huge turn on when the man beneath him spread his legs to let him settle between them, one calf slowly stroking up and down the back of his thigh.

“I love you, Tony Stark”, Stephen whispered against his lips before he let his head drop back onto the pillow, gorgeous eyes smiling up at him. “Just don’t want you to forget.”

Tony couldn’t stop the stupid grin on his face, not if he’d wanted to. The sight in front of him didn’t help at all to stay calm, Stephen’s gorgeous eyes nearly black from his blown pupils, lips swollen and red and God, that beautiful blush on his cheeks and neck…

It was so clear what he wanted and even if Tony looked forward to feeling Stephen inside of himself, he knew he’d never not long to fuck him senseless.

He moved his hand towards the nightstand, but a soft chuckle stopped him. Stephen smirked at him and waved his hand and from the way he moaned after that, Tony knew exactly what he’d done.

“You’re amazing”, he mumbled, feeling that same admiration he had the first time Stephen had stepped through one of his damn impressive portals. “Fucking amazing.”

The blush on Stephen’s cheeks deepened and Tony stared, knowing he’d never, ever be able to forget that sight again.

“Tony”, Stephen then whispered and it was a plea, but for Tony it was as good as a command. With a sudden movement he captured his lips again and he relished in the moan he got as he shifted them slightly. He encouraged Stephen to hold onto his waist with his legs and he simply loved the eagerness with which the man did as he urged him to.

Gliding into that man was something Tony would never get used to, he knew. It wasn’t just the tightness around him, though that was already nearly too much to handle.

It was the long moan that seemed to reverberate in Stephen’s chest, the way he threw his head back to bare his throat, just like he’d done the night before. Tony had thought it’d be a one-time-thing to see that, but it seemed that was actually his default reaction whenever he was overwhelmed.

God, the sight was a gift from the heavens Tony had never fucking believed in. Pale skin flushed so enticingly, throat working as Stephen swallowed…

He started slow and let it build between them, so damn glad for the self-control he’d cultivated over the years. Otherwise he wouldn’t have lasted more than a few minutes, not with how Stephen reacted to him, how he clawed at his back, how he asked for more.

Tony relished in how he could let go with Stephen, how he could lower himself onto him fully and kiss him as he fucked him. The man had no problem whatsoever with his weight, his hands trying to pull him even closer all the time. There was barely space for air between them and he could feel the cock moving against his stomach all too well, wet with pre-cum and the sweat of Tony’s skin.

Seeing Stephen like this was everything he’d ever wanted and not just because of the incredible sensations sending fireworks through his entire body. This was Stephen underneath him, the man he’d come to admire and adore and love, the man who was his equal.

It was Stephen underneath him who screamed his name when it all became too much, Stephen who came untouched between them, Stephen who clenched around him and tore his orgasm from Tony.

It was Stephen he was deeply buried inside of, Stephen he was coating with his release, Stephen who moaned at the filthy sensation of Tony coming inside him with no barrier between them.

Tony barely caught his weight on his elbows, breath coming in harsh gasps as he enjoyed the last aftershocks of his intense orgasm, the last drops he poured into Stephen. It shouldn’t have pleased his ego so damn much to know that his come would pour out of him the moment he’d slip out, but fuck it did.

Stephen lay beneath him completely motionless, his limbs apparently too heavy to move. Tony kissed him above his heart, damn pleased once again at its frantic rhythm, the fast rise and fall of his chest.

“I thought”, Stephen panted, but waited another few moments to draw enough breath to speak. Tony didn’t bother suppressing his smirk, he knew he’d earned it after all. “I thought last night couldn’t get any better, but wow…”

And wasn’t that a huge boost to his ego, considering Stephen was even prouder than Tony was himself. “You don’t expect me to not gloat about that, do you?”

Stephen snorted quietly. “Gloat all you want, as long as you stay for another round. Might take quite long, though.”

Tony laughed, truly fucking laughed, even if it made him slip out of Stephen without really wanting to. He kissed him when he gasped because of it and slowly shifted to lie down beside him, eyes never leaving his gorgeous features.

They stared at each other, both with a shit eating grin on their faces and Tony couldn’t stop himself. He just had to stroke his fingers over these impeccable sharp cheekbones, down the skin of Stephen’s cheek and further down to his chest.

And he just had to let his fingertips swipe through the come on his chest, just had to lift his hand to his mouth and lick it off.

He just had to smirk at the look Stephen gave him for it, just had to do it again and again.

He just had to take it further, had to let his fingers brush the inside of the man’s thighs and wet them with his own come before licking that off, too.

His reward was the look on Stephen’s face and it was simply priceless.

“Maybe not that long after all”, the man mumbled disbelievingly and Tony laughed again.

God, he’d always known this would be amazing, but not quite like this. Maybe, just maybe, his fears would turn out to have been baseless.

Maybe he’d really get to keep Stephen, a thought which made him laugh more, even as he leaned in for another soft kiss.

He could definitely get used to this.


End file.
